- Joined
- May 18, 2009
- Location
- st augustine,florida
Some of these are actually pretty funny….
· Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.
· What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can
drive a ball 400 yards.
· Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's
still below par.
· What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the
morning? They went clubbing.
· Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He
couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
· Tiger is changing his name to "Cheetah".
· Tiger is the first golfer to hit a water hazard and then a
tree in the same drive!
· Tiger just got kicked off the Ryder Cup team. .... He keeps
getting beat by a European
· Why did Elin Nordegren use a 9 iron to smash the Cadillac’s
rear window? Because she sliced the driver.
· Elin Woods is now being sponsored by a golf club manufacturer.
The tag line: Get the club that beats Tiger!
· When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin
replied "I'm not sure, put me down for a 5"
· Of course, he blamed it on a problem with his Escalade.
Typical.....whenever a golfer hits a tree, he blames it on his Caddie.
· After the crash Tiger Woods car still worked, accept it goes
putt, putt, putt!
· What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were
clubbed by a Norwegian.
· How's Tiger doing? He's tree under.
· What do you give Tiger Woods for his next wedding anniversary?
Nothing. Won't be a next.
· Fixing Tiger's game and fixing his marriage both require the
same thing: better control over his putz.
· Help Wanted: New Caddy for pro golfer. Must be better at
helping the pro avoid trees than the last Caddy was.
· Tiger Woods needs a new driver, one for the Cadillac and the
other to replace the one that his wife wrapped around his head.
· What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A *****ing
wedge.
· Nike was quick to announce the new Elin Nordegren line of
clubs. This latest addition to ladies golf does not include a putter for
reasons Nike will not comment on, though they have grips shaped like
knife handles, and rather than reducing your slice, they actually make
your slice more accurate. Nike claims they can cut through the toughest
rough, like say, the side of a large vehicle, and while they don't
improve your own driving, they can in fact negatively impact the driving
of anyone around you. Check them out- they're at
dieyourottencheatingpig.com.
· I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally
say that I can outdrive tiger.
· Phil Mickelson contacted Elin Nordegren to pick up some tips
on how to beat Tiger.
· Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.
· What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can
drive a ball 400 yards.
· Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's
still below par.
· What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the
morning? They went clubbing.
· Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He
couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
· Tiger is changing his name to "Cheetah".
· Tiger is the first golfer to hit a water hazard and then a
tree in the same drive!
· Tiger just got kicked off the Ryder Cup team. .... He keeps
getting beat by a European
· Why did Elin Nordegren use a 9 iron to smash the Cadillac’s
rear window? Because she sliced the driver.
· Elin Woods is now being sponsored by a golf club manufacturer.
The tag line: Get the club that beats Tiger!
· When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin
replied "I'm not sure, put me down for a 5"
· Of course, he blamed it on a problem with his Escalade.
Typical.....whenever a golfer hits a tree, he blames it on his Caddie.
· After the crash Tiger Woods car still worked, accept it goes
putt, putt, putt!
· What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were
clubbed by a Norwegian.
· How's Tiger doing? He's tree under.
· What do you give Tiger Woods for his next wedding anniversary?
Nothing. Won't be a next.
· Fixing Tiger's game and fixing his marriage both require the
same thing: better control over his putz.
· Help Wanted: New Caddy for pro golfer. Must be better at
helping the pro avoid trees than the last Caddy was.
· Tiger Woods needs a new driver, one for the Cadillac and the
other to replace the one that his wife wrapped around his head.
· What club did Elin use to 'rescue' her husband? A *****ing
wedge.
· Nike was quick to announce the new Elin Nordegren line of
clubs. This latest addition to ladies golf does not include a putter for
reasons Nike will not comment on, though they have grips shaped like
knife handles, and rather than reducing your slice, they actually make
your slice more accurate. Nike claims they can cut through the toughest
rough, like say, the side of a large vehicle, and while they don't
improve your own driving, they can in fact negatively impact the driving
of anyone around you. Check them out- they're at
dieyourottencheatingpig.com.
· I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally
say that I can outdrive tiger.
· Phil Mickelson contacted Elin Nordegren to pick up some tips
on how to beat Tiger.