- Joined
- Apr 27, 2010
- Location
- Bethlehem, Georgia
Here are some dumb laws I put together for your enjoyment from the dumblaws.com website.
I added my own commentary(in parenthesis), hopefully it will give you a laugh.
Enjoy!!
Sean(genxer36)
Alabama
Incestuous marriages are legal. (This is my wife-sister-aunt-cousin Mary Sue)
You may not drive barefooted. (What the hell! But you can marry your sister)
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (The next summer Olympic event to be added, Booger flickin!)
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. (So is this to stop the inbreeding? That is legal !)
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Georgia
Signs are required to be written in English. (Amen!)
Acworth - All citizens must own a rake. (Must be a where all the landscapers live;Julio,Juan,& Miguel)
Athens - It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. (I guess I shouldn't of had that chillidog)
Atlanta - Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. (Must be from those crazy conventioneers)
Gainesville - Chicken must be eaten with the hands. (As opposed to your feet)
Quitman - It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. (How does the chicken get to the otherside?)
Roswell - The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured. (No comment needed)
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Tennessee
You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. (This is probably a big problem at the aquarium)
Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. (Good reason not to live in Tennessee)
Driving is not to be done while asleep. (Good to know)
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill. (I wonder if roadkill is loaded with tryptophan & may cause sleeping while driving)
Memphis- illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (How embarrassing if you were the driver, I think I'll walk.)
Fayette County - You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. (You might be a redneck if.....5! But 4 is OK!)
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Virginia
Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars. (Noisy state)
Waynesboro- It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag. (There must be something to this women driver thing)
Culpeper - No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk. (Get your ass off the sidewalk)
Norfolk - Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. (Have you ever tried to get near a seagull? Good luck spitting on one)
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New Mexico
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. (Uhh! Do you know how a cemetery works?)
You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street. (This must be to help the restaurant economy)
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South Dakota
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them. (P.E.T.A. has the slogan "fur is murder". S. Dakota has the slogan "Native Americans are legal" to murder)
Spearfish- If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon. (What is it with the indians? Not a good place for indians to raise a family)
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North Dakota
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (Me say - Indians you-stay-out-of-Dakotas, you-live-longer)
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Montana
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Well we now know the midwest is not indian country)
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Uhh! What if the chaperone is into sheep also)
Billings - It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings. (Ya think!)
Whitehall - It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. (You might be a redneck if... You make your own snow tires for your pickup)
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New York
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Woohoo! So much for advertising for the plastic surgeon)
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing. (But topless is fine?)
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Not too bright in New York are they? Isn't that the point)
Carmel - A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. (Home of the Garanimals. Match the animal tags on your clothes so you know it matches)
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Alaska
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (Skydiving moose)
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. (What if it jumped from another airplane near you?)
Anchorage - No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. (Are you sure were not in Alabama?)
Fairbanks - It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (This must be were the skydiving moose got his start)
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Missouri Added just for BB
Columbia - You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish. (how else will the aliens find me & do anal probing)
Mole - Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.(I guess BigBass better stay out of Mole)
Kansas City - Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Because cap pistols do not thin the herd. Shotguns are the chlorine for the gene pool)
I added my own commentary(in parenthesis), hopefully it will give you a laugh.
Enjoy!!
Sean(genxer36)
Alabama
Incestuous marriages are legal. (This is my wife-sister-aunt-cousin Mary Sue)
You may not drive barefooted. (What the hell! But you can marry your sister)
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (The next summer Olympic event to be added, Booger flickin!)
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. (So is this to stop the inbreeding? That is legal !)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Georgia
Signs are required to be written in English. (Amen!)
Acworth - All citizens must own a rake. (Must be a where all the landscapers live;Julio,Juan,& Miguel)
Athens - It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. (I guess I shouldn't of had that chillidog)
Atlanta - Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. (Must be from those crazy conventioneers)
Gainesville - Chicken must be eaten with the hands. (As opposed to your feet)
Quitman - It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. (How does the chicken get to the otherside?)
Roswell - The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured. (No comment needed)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tennessee
You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. (This is probably a big problem at the aquarium)
Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. (Good reason not to live in Tennessee)
Driving is not to be done while asleep. (Good to know)
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill. (I wonder if roadkill is loaded with tryptophan & may cause sleeping while driving)
Memphis- illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (How embarrassing if you were the driver, I think I'll walk.)
Fayette County - You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. (You might be a redneck if.....5! But 4 is OK!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Virginia
Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars. (Noisy state)
Waynesboro- It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag. (There must be something to this women driver thing)
Culpeper - No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk. (Get your ass off the sidewalk)
Norfolk - Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. (Have you ever tried to get near a seagull? Good luck spitting on one)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Mexico
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. (Uhh! Do you know how a cemetery works?)
You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street. (This must be to help the restaurant economy)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
South Dakota
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them. (P.E.T.A. has the slogan "fur is murder". S. Dakota has the slogan "Native Americans are legal" to murder)
Spearfish- If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon. (What is it with the indians? Not a good place for indians to raise a family)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
North Dakota
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (Me say - Indians you-stay-out-of-Dakotas, you-live-longer)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Montana
Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Well we now know the midwest is not indian country)
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Uhh! What if the chaperone is into sheep also)
Billings - It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings. (Ya think!)
Whitehall - It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. (You might be a redneck if... You make your own snow tires for your pickup)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New York
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Woohoo! So much for advertising for the plastic surgeon)
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing. (But topless is fine?)
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Not too bright in New York are they? Isn't that the point)
Carmel - A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. (Home of the Garanimals. Match the animal tags on your clothes so you know it matches)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alaska
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (Skydiving moose)
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. (What if it jumped from another airplane near you?)
Anchorage - No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. (Are you sure were not in Alabama?)
Fairbanks - It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (This must be were the skydiving moose got his start)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Missouri Added just for BB
Columbia - You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish. (how else will the aliens find me & do anal probing)
Mole - Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.(I guess BigBass better stay out of Mole)
Kansas City - Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Because cap pistols do not thin the herd. Shotguns are the chlorine for the gene pool)