- Joined
- May 18, 2009
- Location
- st augustine,florida
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black
Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You
also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that
you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for
your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants
when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that
cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just
bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we
had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you
agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head
... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you
lea ve your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or
"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire
episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as
well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit
card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely
grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless
guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into
the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke
the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone
sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line,
although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's
going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone
calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President
Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really
intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number
etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should
apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is
a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon,
and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto... An
armed society makes for a more civil society!
　
　 I probably don't have to ask you
to forward this one.
Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black
Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You
also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that
you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for
your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants
when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that
cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just
bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we
had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you
agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head
... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you
lea ve your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or
"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire
episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as
well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit
card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely
grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless
guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet.
[That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into
the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke
the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone
sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line,
although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's
going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone
calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President
Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really
intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number
etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should
apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is
a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you
well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing
issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon,
and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto... An
armed society makes for a more civil society!
　
　 I probably don't have to ask you
to forward this one.