A small zoo in Auburn, Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a
redneck part-time worker attending college in Auburn who was responsible
for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks attending
college in Auburn, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a
female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached
with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again
readily agreed to this condition
"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist."
Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00."
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a
redneck part-time worker attending college in Auburn who was responsible
for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks attending
college in Auburn, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a
female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached
with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again
readily agreed to this condition
"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist."
Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the
$500.00."